So my mom’s aunt wanted me to enter a water conservation essay contest, and I’m like, why in the world would you write an essay like that for fun? I only do stuff like that because I’m required to.(No offense, but I think that’s crazy! Why would you write about water conservation when you can write fiction?) I mean I know some people love to write non-fiction and essays all day long, but I am not one of those people. Sorry, I know it doesn’t matter if you like non-fiction or fiction, but I really, really do like fiction/fantasy. Speaking of which, I am working on a book/story, which I haven’t figured out a title out for yet. If you have any suggestions(mom and dad excluded)or comments, please respond. Here is the first chapter:
I stared at the dark chestnut door in front of me. I started to lift my hand to the brass lion knocker, then dropped it, embarrassed. Blinking back tears, I turned around and sat down on the nondescript porch steps, burying my head in my hands. I only remembered bits and pieces of last night, but they were enough to help me understand what had happened. They had tried to kill me. I sighed. This shouldn’t surprise me. After all, my entire life was full of ill fortune and bad luck. First, my mom had three miscarriages after me. Then, after a poor harvest, our farm had burned down to the ground in a terrible fire that had also killed my father. When we moved to Gristone, we thought our troubles were over, until now. Me, mom, my six year-old sister Uniasus and my two year-old brother Cougar. Weird names, I know. Mine’s Phoenix. Mom said it was a family tradition to name our kids after animals. I had no idea what a uniasus was until my mom explained it was a unicorn and pegasus put together. Cool, right? My mom’s name was Falcon. More tears squeezed out of my eyes. I missed her so much! I hoped she hadn’t been hurt or killed by that mob last night. I could only hope that what ever had taken me to this place had also taken care of my mother, Uni, and Cou. It was a thin hope, I know. But I’m not doing them any good sitting on someone’s porch, I told myself. So, gathering up my courage, I got up, turned around, and marched to the door. Before I could think about what I was doing, like a robot I stiffly lifted the brass knocker and pounded it on the door three times. Nothing happened for a moment. I nervously chewed the inside of my cheek. Then I heard voices and nearing footsteps. Relief swept through me at the same time nervousness made my stomach feel like a rock. What was I going to say? Oh hello, me and my family just got forced out of Gristone by an angry mob and I lost consciousness and woke up in your meadow. So, will you take me in? Yeah, right. But I didn’t have any time to brood on that, for the door just creaked open, reveling a plump, black-haired woman in her forties. She took in my bedraggled hair and dirty dress, my weary atmosphere, my pink cheeks, and the emotions that swept across her face were shock and concern, not disgust like I had expected. ”Oh dear, dear! Oh no!Preston!” she called over her shoulder, like the world was ending. I narrowed my eyes. Did I look that bad? But right then a giant wave of vertigo, tiredness, and hunger swept over me. I stood, swaying on the spot. The women looked back in time to see me throw up what was left of the food in my stomach, than faint, falling on top of her. Ugh. Not again. What was it with me and fainting?
So I know I need to work on it some more, maybe add more details. It’s not the best, but if you could give me some suggestions it would help. Thanks!